Resistance Can Be a Female Dog Metaphor.

A bulb is planted in the ground, and it instinctively knows which way to grow. It knows to sprout upwards through the dirt, to reach for the sunlight that promotes, nurtures, and encourages natural growth, allowing it to blossom fully into the magnificent beauty that it is intended to be. Human beings are no different. We’re born, and our lungs, heart, and all of the other vital organs function seamlessly on their own, with no conscious effort on our behalf. We don’t think about breathing. We just do it.

There’s a plan for each of us. We’ve all been gifted with an internal compass that charts the course for us; giving us the coordinates for the destinations to which we’re led. It is our intuitive instincts that lead us to fulfilling on our life plans. We all reach pivotal stages in life where the next big growth spurt is poised for release. I’m in such a growth spurt now. But I, dear lads and lasses, have been a coward, hiding from the cosmic ordering that keeps pulling at me to move forward.

Five years ago, I wrote an instructional manual of what I’d done years ago to cause the most substantial shift in my life, my finances, and my relationships. Those who followed the outlined directives began living life in an entirely new way. I was making a difference for others, and it felt good. Two years later, I created a workshop using the principles outlined in the manual. That workshop, now known as Prosperity Boot Camp, left such an indelible mark on those who attended; they convinced me to expand it out even further.

Instead of sprouting forth with gusto towards something grand,  I’ve cowered in the discomfort, unease, and intense emotional and mental pressures that been more than a little discouraging. My internal compass has been prodding and poking at me for the past 5 years, directing me towards something big. Something I can’t put words to. And I’ve been resisting-big time. I haven’t been trusting where I’m being led. I’m afraid to leave a rewarding 11-year career to embark on a divine mission that’s been entrusted to me. I’ve been focusing more on the risks than the possibilities, and it’s left me feeling like I’m in an open water swim competition in very choppy waves.

I have a team of six who have stood by my side for two years, spending countless hours supporting me and helping me expand this work and reach those who are in severe and dire need of a life re-boot. Much of the time, we feel like we’re flunking at the divine mission with which we’ve been gifted. This is a team who has sacrificed countless hours, put aside their own priorities, and worked till exhaustion with no pay. I’m the ring leader of this remarkable self-less brood, and I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time. How’s that for powerful leadership? Today, I feel like a failure, a flunkie first-class.

This feels vaguely familiar. I’ve come face-to-face with resistance many times before. So why do I feel so scared, so screwed up, so fragile this time? The truth is, this growth spurt is no different from any of the others. Discomfort is discomfort. What carried me through the previous emotional upheavals was my faith, a couple of borrowed wings, and plenty of prayers.  I’d enrolled the stars to come out and light the path for me. So why am I struggling to do the same right now?

I know with all my heart that the work I do makes a real difference in the lives of others. So why am I struggling to get our nonprofit off the ground? You want the truth? I can’t handle the truth! I haven’t believed in myself. I haven’t trusted myself. I’m afraid I’ll fail. I’m afraid people will think I’m crazy. I’m afraid I really don’t have anything special to offer. And most of all, I’m afraid I’ll let my team down. To be honest,  I haven’t been practicing what I passionately teach.  I’ve been in bed with my mind. And the fear has been seductive enough that it’s my overwhelming self-doubt causes me that causes the stall big time in my mission.

Today, my manifesting skills shall be sharpened. It’s the only way I know how to create magic out of thin air. And I could use a little of that right about now.

More to follow….

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